kerre woodham’s a celebrity?

February 9th, 2010 at 1:48 pm

“Internet imposters have celebrities in a twitter”

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10624639

yay for the gin!

boo for the gin!

well?

which one is it kerre-with-two-Rs-and-no-Ys-and-an-E-on- the-end?

do you?, or dont you?

choose one

choose life

choose gordons

Eskimo creampies

February 8th, 2010 at 11:21 pm

Discovered eskimo brothers today

I’m pretty sure my mate Stussy’s Eskimo family tree includes every guy you’ve ever met

Except me

I mean obviously

Ewwww

That was then, and this is now

February 8th, 2010 at 11:10 pm

The international payments engine at the bank is called Gemini.

If Gemini is up, there is a green light on the intranet wiki page

And if it’s down there is a red light

Or at least, that’s how it was 3 years ago. Now there is a sun for up, and a cloud for down

Because I couldn’t tell the difference between the green icon and the red icon

18 months at that bank, and I’m pretty sure that’s all I contributed

No wait, I used to put the beers in the fridge on Fridays too

And one time I held the lift open for the mail girl

let the right one in

February 8th, 2010 at 10:50 pm

if you havent watched let the right one in yet

then its probably high time you did

February 8th, 2010 at 9:34 pm

itunes wants to give her the pash

wiki wants to kiss her [citation needed]

tiffany wants to kiss her too

adam sandler wants to give her the kisses

just kiss her already

in actuality, there is no one to kiss

and that is something we shall have to remedy then…

isnt it?

know your history

February 6th, 2010 at 4:05 pm

you heard it here first

February 3rd, 2010 at 11:55 am

BEST PICTURE
Avatar – shit – not a chance
District 9 – shit – not a chance
An Education – havent seen it – so it hasnt got a shit show
The Hurt Locker – a good chance, war movies do well
Inglourious Basterds – they dont usually give it to r rated movies
The Blind Side – havent seen it – so it hasnt got a chance
Precious – might get it – but i dont think so
A Serious Man – might get it
Up – doesnt go to animations
Up in the Air – might get it

i’d like to see inglourious or up in the air or hurt locker or serious man get it

bridges will get best actor

or i will

and trainspotting will get best foreign language film again

remember to have a big oscar night party

except we get it in the morning

which is a bit shit really

celebrity guest post from the girl without a real name

February 2nd, 2010 at 1:32 pm

paul reynolds at the dunedin public art gallery today

see?

he is holding the telecom XT log-oh

its not quite a giant log-oh but it looks the same to me

and I’m guessing that’s the rest of the XT network cable strung around his frock?

the snicko

February 2nd, 2010 at 1:03 pm

part 1.

let me explain whats happening here: when the batsperson accidentally “edges” the ball, the noise that the ball makes against the bat is recored by a little microphone and cassette deck that sits behind the wickets. the sound is then mapped on some sort of special sound mapping matrix, and IF there is a noise, the lines on it go up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down. and the finger goes up. and the batsperson is out. and someone else comes in.

i know. it’s pretty complicated, but try and stay with me. up and down, up and down means not good ok. just try and remember that.

part 2.

now…i dont actually have any medical training.. per se, but it would appear, that katy perry’s boyfriend has some sort of mood disorder. he’s certainly a little indecisive, to say the very least.

he’s all over the place

he’s black and then, apparently, he’s white

he’s hot and he’s cold

yes

no

in

out

wrong

right

up and then down

COINCIDENCE?!!?!?!

i dont think so

katy’s boyfriend is OUT

or

the snicko is not ready for any sort of commitment

possibly both

good grief

i think i need a drink

its been a while

know your yad

February 1st, 2010 at 10:58 am

i was casting my mind back to my viewing of the coen brothers’ latest attempt to mind-fuck everyone recently. to the particular bit where the boy is doing the reading at his bar mitzvah.

it turns out youre not allowed to touch the torah. you have to point at it with your yad. here are some yads:

it reminded me of the scene in spinal tap where the interviewer wasnt allowed to touch the guitar. or even look at it.

we digress. now, if youre ever on millionaire-israel, then a question about the yad will be worth about 20 shekels. or 100$ in aus millionaire (the first question). but, on aus millionaire it would be worth maybe 8000$, on account of the jews not liking living in australia. its a culture-related question so its a bit tricky to price. a hundred dollar question in australia, could easily be a million dollar question in the u.s.

still, we’re digressing. now obviously there are mouse pointers in windows that look like yads.

not a yad

but theyre not yads. NOR are they mouse pointers. theyre cursors. when you change your mouse pointer to an animated fucking dinosaur, then youre actually changing the mouse cursor. oh i wouldnt make this shit up. knowing this wont help you get laid either. unless youre bill gates.

now where was i going with this. ahhhhhhhhh thats right. nick got laid. well done nick. just play it cool though man. dont update your facebook status just yet. its early days.