you guys arent going to believe this

but i won an iphone

or something

well anyway when i was just 20 or 21 or something, 20 actually now i come to think of it, i went out with a girl called claire

briefly

and by go out, i mean

see for a bit

anyway

IT WAS BAD TIMING AND THAT FUCKING HAPPENS ALL THE TIME AND IT MAKES ME ANGRY AS FUCK

ho ho ho

there is water on mars

god

do i have to explain everyfuckingthing

im excited its the weekend you know

im going to relax and finish dans php thing, and the ipad thing and im going to download the rest of underbelly and im going to drink just shy of enough beer to put me into afib

its quite tricky working out how many beers will require hospitalisation

its less than 8 jugs

but more than 4

and it may or may not happen

its a bit of a gamble

youd have to really like beer

or being drunk all the time

or both

anyway probably worth putting 10 bux on the blax and not the boks all the same

ohhh alliteration

im surprised someone who can whip up an alliteration out of nowhere is still single

maybe its all the boozing and philandering

maybe the chicks dont dig it

well

theres no pleasing some people

my favourite bit is when she does this

goodbye gardies

goodbye house of pain

goodbye grey skys

hello bl..

hang on

it has come to my attention that wales, and whales is a homophone

here is wales

here are whales

and this is a homophone

try and commit it to memory

it will be in the final

use this simple mnemonic to help

widfwiah

whales is different from wales, it’s a homophone

there will also be a question about the order of the strings on your guitar

easter bunny gets drunk at easter

i think its top string to bottom string

and by top i mean the one nearest your head when youre holding it properly

not sure how this works for upside down strung guitars that left handed angels use though

perhaps she had to memorise it both ways

e a d g b a

every fruit good boys deserve easter

i just wanted to give a little something back

i hope that this has helped in someway

i dont serve your country

i dont serve your king